I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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