i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
