He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
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just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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