I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
