Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
