i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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