i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
