I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
