That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
