Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
barbara walters just said penis...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
