What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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