we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
