you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I am naked and annoyed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
