I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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