now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
