watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize