THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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