so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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