Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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