I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
