Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize