he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
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My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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