piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize