About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize