using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
