Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
