I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
