Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
