I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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