Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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