fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
