Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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