i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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