waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How's work?
Spinning.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
