Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
