she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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