There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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