Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize