Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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