Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
