I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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