Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
