Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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