Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
