the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
