How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
