So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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