smell my finger.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
