You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize