Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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