maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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