The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
