haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
