Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
