He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
