What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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