We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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