ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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