Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
